Emotions of Trials
So Trials have come and gone now, and as most of you know I was able to fulfill my life long goal of making the US Olympic Team. It has been a whirlwind since then with trying to get everything in line and leaving for 12 weeks on the road.
The most striking thing to me was all the different emotions that I felt right after and in the days that followed making the Olympic team. I thought a lot about this and I have condensed them into the following:
Relief: the first emotion I had making the team was relief. Like “oh thank God it happened. All the hard work was not for nothing”
Happiness: this feeling hit as I celebrated with my friends and family who were in the stands and celebrated with me. It was pure joy.
Satisfaction: this one came later in the evening as I realized that the plan that Matt, Kip, Finn and I came up with actually worked. They took a mule to the Kentucky Derby and we got on the podium.
Thankfulness: As I couldn’t sleep the night after the 5k, I could be nothing but thankful to all those around me who helped me along the way. There are far too many people to list but you all who you are.
Guilt: this emotion came later on as Trials progressed and we started to realize that many of my best friends were not going with me to Sochi. I felt guilty that things had worked out for me and not those I cared so much about. It was pretty heart breaking to see and at times I wished they were going and not me
Sadness: Sadness hit me after the 10,000m when I realized that I did not grab that top spot. I love the 10,000m with my whole heart. It is such a tough race but something I love so much. To have the race I did out there and it not be good enough was a tough pill to swallow.
Overwhelmed: This came in the days that followed trials and it felt like the world was moving at 10 million miles a second. For a while, it never felt like I could even have a chance to catch my breath. Not to say I am complaining but making this team has been a tornado wrapped in a hurricane since it became official.
We are now in Calgary for Regional Qualifier and then head straight to Italy for our pre Olympic camp. I will try to be better about posting as life becomes more and more simple and I have one focus now…. Going to Sochi and kicking ass.